Rough cut feedback

1. First shot is weak, second shot could be the first and longer to take in the boy in the mirror, clips in this sequence need to be longer as it is calm mood and the track is slow. 2. Narrative is clear in that Mum leaves for work and comes back after work. If you want to make it clear that she has gone for longer or that the dads abuse is habitual then that is not coming across. 3. The end needs a bit of refinement, a couple of shots need to come out - do you have any more for this sequence? At the end dad could come out down the stairs and leave with a suitcase. 4. Footage in London works well although what is missing are some closeups with Mum and boy's faces together. 5. The found footage from Psycho at the beginning is fine although I wouldn't use any further footage as the bit at the beginning can be taken at face value and you can explain this in your evaluation, Further references to it could confuse your nsrrative. 6. At the moment your film is around a B+ so about 77%. I know you are working towards representing different styles for past and present so what is missing at the moment is: "editing so that meaning is apparent to the viewer and making selective and appropriate use of shot transitions, captions and other effects". Your blog is showing development of ideas and you are working hard to include media terms, 'conjunctive' is not a media term as far as I know - do you mean disjunctive when the visuals don't match the lyrics? I have given you comments for individual pieces to be improved and the opportunity to ask me if you need assistance. Print work shows cohesive band image and is developing well with some good images on the adverts and part of the digipak. You need to ensure all images are sharp and that text shows clearly, include all conventional information on all products.